Alone vs lonely

I just had this random thought all of a sudden. How do people define someone as a loner? We always hear people say things like..

Wah that girl is a loner.
He always so lonely one lah, eat alone..

But what if that person just likes being alone? I like being alone sometimes but I don't ever want to be lonely. At times when I need to clear my mind, I like to go for a run alone, shop alone, take a bus ride alone, go for manicures/pedicures alone.. There is a big difference between being alone and being lonely, but I don't know how to see the difference in real life.

I guess the only thing I could never do is to eat alone at public places, like macs, kopitiam or restaurants. The most I could do alone is to have coffee at Starbucks or to study outside with my earphones. I hope one day I can overcome this barrier! But maybe I will try watching a movie alone first, which is probably not that bad as everyone's eyes are glued to the screen. Oh maybe that's why I hate doing these things alone, I don't want to feel awkward. I think that's the most uncomfortable feeling someone can feel.

Sunday blues

Such a gloomy Sunday today because all that's in my mind is my long weekend is coming to an end. Haven't completed my HBL and tutorials and I'm just SO not prepared for school!! Let's go back to reunion dinner again shall we? :(

Just had 2 theory lessons for consecutively 2 days and I'M ALREADY SO BORED OF IT. I think it's just the theory.. They teach you the importance of safety, not to drink-drive and not to speed. And I thought it's the basics. But then again, it's basic theory anyway. Throughout the 200 minutes I had in the classroom these 2 days I was just sitting there thinking, ahh.. There goes my $34. And I still cannot decide if I should continue taking Class 3A (auto) or switch to class 3 (manual). The reason why I took 3A was that I hated manual cars because I think they are jerky and not comfortable to sit in. I knew I would never buy a manual car and most cars these days are auto. And auto cars are so much easier to learn cos my coordination just sucks. But then yesterday, my friends and my parents told me to switch to manual and the main reason was that, since I pay the same amount for both classes, why restrict myself to one choice when I can have 2? Still weighing the pros and cons before I make up my mind! 

I wished I could go back in time and see when things started to change. Was it just one person who stops putting in effort or both? Regretting is painful, but knowing you have lost something close to you is worse. What was once so close to heart seems so far away now. We used to spend all weekends together, is it too late to want it all back now? Can you hear me, my best friend?

Valentines

At times like this, I really think it's a curse that my birthday is a day before Valentines. But well, things turned out better than what I expected. :')

18th

First post and it's also my 18th birthday. I've waited so long for today and yesss, it has finally arrived, I'm finally legal eighteen! So... I went to enroll for my driving licence just now! I really wanted a licence ever since I knew how to take public transport on my own. I really hate taking public transport. I hate squeezing with strangers on buses and trains during peak hours. I hate to wait for buses which seem to take forever to arrive. Ahh.. I guess my hatred with public transport will never end.

The moment when I sat down and passed my IC to the lady, I suddenly felt so old. I am 18. From years back when I wished so badly that I can quickly reach 18, I am finally here. But I still feel like a kid. If I was given a choice to go back to my childhood or remain at 18, frankly speaking, I don't know which I would choose.

Now that I'm 18, I don't know what to look forward to anymore. But nevertheless, thank you everyone who made my 18th one of the best birthdays I ever had with never-ending surprises. I love you!

I really love birthdays.